Old Fartism, Shedding Skin, and Forward Leaning

 It appears that almost seven years has passed since I last posted on this blog and it occurred to me that it might be the right time to begin again as I remember the joy I experienced in the past as I recorded my thoughts, dreams, and experiences. 

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned to have the life that is waiting for us.

The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come."

Joseph Campbell

Campbell's words have served as a challenge and guide to me ever since I retired from full time ministerial work in 2007 and pursued a less demanding schedule as I explored various part time endeavors that continued to challenge and us my experience and skills. Around 2017 I stepped further away from that old life and began to limit my ministry activities to accepting the occasional invitation to lead worship and preach.

In an effort to "lean in" to the life that is "waiting" for me I am open to new experiences and learnings while keeping one foot grounded in the principles and faith that shaped me in the first three quarters of life. I will reach the age of 79 in March and I have adopted the following as a daily prayer.

Most Holy God, as I race along toward my finish line, instill in me a sense of gratitude that I might end my race with peace, love, joy, and celebration. Amen

One of the challenges for me is to slow down the "race toward the finish line". To breath, to look, to let go.

"Old fartism and old talk and speaking poorly of my life are the dangers. Unexamined, old ideas lead to the first death, that of the mind."

Jon Katz Blog entry in Bedlam Farm blog 1/17/24

Experiencing Beauty

Each day seems to bring news of so much ugliness; violence, conflict, devastation, death, etc., etc. The only antidote that I have found to the sadness and helplessness is to both carry and seek beauty to the best of my ability. This was indeed a weekend of experiencing beauty.

My wife, Mary, recently made contact with a group called “Street Soldiers” that gathers every Friday evening in Albany to share food, clothing, and other necessities with folks who are homeless. Mary created and put together seven beautiful quilts that she wanted to give away. She also baked cookies and encouraged me to make a large pot of chili to share. It was a summer like October Friday evening as we gathered in Washington Park with this wonderfully caring group of folks. The beauty was in the joy expressed by both those giving and receiving. See photos by clicking here https://www.facebook.com/fahey2017/

Our family gathered on Sunday morning to prepare “Brendan’s Breakfast”, a pancake fundraiser to honor and remember our grandson, Brendan, who was killed in a motorcycle accident last summer. We work together to serve pancakes (all you can eat), bacon, juice, and coffee. All donations received are used for camp scholarships. Last fall/winter we raised almost $3,000. All of those funds were distributed this summer. It is a beautiful experience to watch my family work together and it always feels as if Brendan is there with us.

In between these two events, on Saturday afternoon, we traveled up to Cambridge, NY to visit Bedlam Farm. The farm is home to author, Jon Katz, and Maria, a very fine artist. We attended the spring open house and were inspired by Jon and Maria’s hospitality and compassion. Just beautiful.

John making a new friend, Donna Wynbrandt. They sang, "I've been working on the Railroad" together.

 John and The Tin Man

John and Red

Autumn at Last

Late September days of temperatures in the 80's and 90's have finally given away to Autumn chill today. Reminded me of this from Harry Potter except it's happening on almost the last of September.

 “Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first September was crisp and golden as an apple.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Navajo Prayer

Anne Hillerman, writing in her novel, Song of the Lion, shares this Navajoh prayer used in the early morning to greet a new day.

With beauty before me, may I walk

With beauty behind me, may I walk

With beauty below me, may I walk

With beauty above me, may I walk

With beauty all around me, may I walk

Clouds of Sadness

Sadness

Like a cloud, it descends upon me

Distorts my vision of self and others

Clarity is no longer possible

All is fuzzy, out of focus

Like a cloud, it will pass

Eventually, when the sun shines again

                                                             AGAIN?

Rituals and Responsability

 I have been thinking recently about the connection between ritual and responsability. A responsability that can be to the animals, family, ourselves, others, community, etc. I remember that one of my daily rituals in the winter when I was on the farm in Iowa. The beef cattle were in a field a few miles from the main farm. In the cold weather the pond would freeze over during the night and this was where the cattle drank. My responsability/ritual was to drive over there early in the morning and chop a large hole in the ice. Every morning the cattle would see me coming and gather patiently at the edge of the pond. After I succesfully chopped through the ice they seemed to look at me gratefully as they lowered their heads into the water. I rmember fondly how our icy cold breaths would mingle in the winter air. This early morning ritual made getting out of a warm bed meaningful.

There was a time when writing in this blog was a daily ritual for me. It forced me to reflect, respond, and articulate the daily ebbs and flows of my life. I have not regularly practiced this "blogging" ritual since our family experienced a series of challenging and life altering occurrences. It is now time to again practice those rituals/responsabilities that connect me to friends and family. I believe that this is a significant part of the grief process and a neccesary step forward. 

"Keep Moving" by Dick Van Dyke

KEEP MOVING and other tips and truths about aging by Dick Van Dyke

                I loved reading this book. It is part memoir and part “how-to” on the art of aging. Van Dyke’s writing is optimistic, positive, energetic, filled with humor, and sprinkled with wise reflections on getting older. Van Dyke was 89 years old when he started writing the book. He is in good health, sharp of mind, and happily married to a woman over four decades younger than him.

                Here is what he shares in answer to the question, “So what do I think really matters.

                                1} Family and Friends

2} Questions (Always questioning about the meaning of life. Questions like; What can I   do to help? How can you be so sure? Am I using my time productively? Am I ok with myself? If not, why? Is my heart open?

                3) Music

                4) Books

                5) A Sense of Humor

Throughout the book the reader is treated to little examples of the author’s creativity and humor. An example is this limerick titled “A Separate Plot”.

There was a young man from Dallas

Who overdosed on Cialis

His body was laid

To rest in the shade

With a separate plot

For his phallus.

The final chapter of the book is a recent conversation between Van Dyke and his best friend, Carl Reiner, who is three years older than the author. Very funny. Finally, this poem.

The Thing That Lasts

The one thing that persists

From childhood through

Whatever age you are right now

Is the love we feel for one another

And still feel even more today.

Love is the thing that lasts.

You feel it more than the aches and pains.

You remember it when other memories fade.

You crave it when you have no taste

For anything else.

You pick it up when you feel weak.

It’s on your smile in the morning

And in your dreams at night.

It’s what you carry around with you every day.

It’s what you take with you.

It’s what you leave behind.

Love is the thing that lasts.

That makes it all worthwhile.

I wouldn’t trade a minute of it.