May 12, 1937 - Born. God winces.
(from Carlin's web page)
“The weather was dominated by a large Canadian low, which is not to be confused with a Mexican high. Tonight’s forecast . . . dark, continued mostly dark tonight turning to widely scattered light in the morning.” Those are the words of my favorite weatherman, Al Sleet, a character George Carlin created early in his career. Carlin was a quick, profane, vulgar, brilliant, and hilarious comedian and cultural critic. He was a serious student of the English language and he could creatively turn ordinary words and phrases into bizarre insights regarding the human condition. Here are a few examples that I've enjoyed.When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
June 23, 2008 God surprises George by exisiting and welcoming him home!